choices

every morning, we open our eyes to see this world.
for a moment, we can choose to leave the bed we've warmed up with our body heat or we can ignore the alarm ringing, sunlight spilling in, just shut our eyes and head back to sleep.

we get dressed. we choose.
shirts? skirts? stripes? plain? neutral colours or bright palates?

we choose to go to work.
or not to.
one way or the other, we have to eat to stop the stomach rumbling and keep ourselves running.

at the eatery, we look at the food available and think to ourselves, "what should i have?"
steak? hmm too heavy for lunch.
rice? oh no. carbs might make my stomach bloated.
fish? is it fresh?
then maybe your final choice is a steak-/rice-/fish-lunch.

after returning to office, you continue to do what you do.
6 o'clock approaches but your stack is piling up.
you hear the second hand of the clock clicking away.
you need to decide if you should stay or go.


we don't stop making choices.
every little thing we do, we choose.

despite the limited choices we can hold in hand, for most of us, we hope every little choice can make us and our lives a little bit better. the fact is, we are unable to make a huge change in our lives. and for most of the reason, it's because we are all ordinary beings with nothing much to our names (and not much to our parents', or grandparents' names as well).

we try, try to live better, feel better.
try to grab every opportunity that seems to offer what we might pursue in life.
but it requires luck, above everything, to succeed.

sometimes, i feel that people i know are amazing people with amazing abilities.
but they are squeezed and compressed to a level which might not be the best for them.
for some, it's a choice made by themselves which trap themselves within the circumstance.
for the others, it's downright a luckless life.

i'm sad because i try hard too. very hard.
but more often than not, i don't get what i wanted to.

i think i need a big break in life.
i need to find my own life.

Soon.