虛幻的意義

「我寫小說的理由，追根究柢只有一個。就是讓個人靈魂的尊嚴浮上來，在那裡打上一道光。為了不讓我們的靈魂被體制套牢、貶低，而經常照亮那裡，鳴響警鐘，那正是故事的任務。




我這樣相信，藉著寫生與死的故事，寫愛的故事，繼續嘗試讓人哭泣，使人畏怯，引人發笑，讓每個靈魂不可替代的珍貴性明確化，這是小說家的工作。




因此我們每天繼續認真地創作各種虛構的故事。」


.........村上春樹，〈牆與蛋：耶路撒冷獎得獎感言〉，《村上春樹雜文集》，賴明珠譯（時報，2012）

adorn your hair with adorn.

the world's not at the last stage yet so let's keep eating and drinking and leading our lives as usual, yeah?

anyway, i just got a new accessory last week!
my hair has been in a mess and i can do with some accessories which can help distract eyes away from the unruliness of my mane.

delivery was fast and my ribbon was wrapped snugly inside bubble wrap.
Just to show you, here's a couple of snaps.

the design is simple and the colour goes with just about anything. and sorry if the picture misleads, the ribbon is actually a clip hoho! so you can actually clip it on without having to tie. or you can style your hair up in different ways and just clip on DA CLIP and you're good to go!

Just like food ready to be taken away, out of the restaurant doors!!!

:D

okay bad joke.

sorry. okay really sorry.
you can roll your eyes, go ahead.

but a ribbon or hairband is really a simple way to add some style or zest to your overall look.

check them out here:
http://adoreadorn.weebly.com/
and search for them on facebook to receive updates!

Doomsday or not

Yup it's 21st december. it's 2.27am as i'm typing this post.

why is the world not ending? everything feels very much the same. come on, give a sign.

alright haha, i'm not that bothered by all these doomsday talk actually. I'll just keep doing what i do as long i manage to see tomorrow. who can predict what really happens in the future?

we do have to save up for rainy days and prepare ourselves for the worst that will arrive. but there's zilch we can do when we're up against the almighty .... the other party however you might call him/her/it (you can capitalise the first alphabet if that make you feel a tad better about addressing that party.



clock is ticking, i'm breathing.
just keep living as long as you can.

ode to joyful life.
or at least in the journey to seek for joy. that makes it enjoyable as well.

Life of Pi: endless stream of possibilities

Truth be told, I don't have an idea how I'm going to talk about this movie.

It's enchanting and surreal. You get absorbed in the way the narrative is told. It's like listening to an experienced story-teller's story. Yann Martel is genius no doubt about that; but Ang Lee is as talented for that matter. Getting something expressed in words into a film is no easy feat. meanings get lost in between, either that or there's no new revelations discovered in the moving picture.

the crux of the story comes to light (maybe not) when the story is coming to a close.
The shipwreck experience was told by Pi to the Japanese freighter company, which needed details of his story to settle the insurance claims. that was when he finally reached the warm shores of Mexico.

Read it here.

thank you wikipedia!

Breath taking scenes throughout the movie. The cinematography is well-executed, good direction, meticulously put-together cast, provoking plot. all these are undeniable and factual about this movie.

But I guess people are heating up the discussion (or argument in some cases) about the true meaning behind this movie.
what is the truth? what really happened? what does something represent? what is right or wrong?

Metaphorically, there are absolutely tons of symbolism you can try to decipher and give meaning to. From there, maybe you can predict what Ang Lee wants to express (if you reckon it to be true, that is).

People say they believe the truth to be the cannibalism story and Pi devoured someone onboard and the animal story is just something out of his imagination, which was to make himself reconcile with the harsh reality that he did something inhumane in the worst circumstances, out in the sea.

Or some say the animal story is the truth, it's the proof that people grew not to believe what they don't see or deem logical.

Others agree that it might be a mix of both, no one including Pi, could differentiate one from the other anymore. altered memory caused by guilt, confusion, threat of survival, fabrication.


Yes this about believing in something. But it doesn't matter which story you choose. like Pi, he chose hinduism, christianity, muslim, even jew. His father said "if you believe in everything, it's like believing in nothing", when talking over a meal at the dinner table. but there's a difference, choosing to believe is an empowerment of yourself. you are actively engaging yourself to understand something outside of you. believing in nothing is when you choose not to believe at all. Passively waiting for time to pass and just becoming numb to everything.

The protagonist was named "Piscine Molitor" at birth, because his uncle said it was the clearest water ever, there's not another one the swimmer uncle had came across and loved so much. Then, he became Pi (π) to avoid schoolmates from making fun of his name which sounded unhygienic. He even went to memorise the tons of recurring decimal places after 3.1417..........

you get what i mean.

I can't help but think about the commonalities across philosophies and religions. I think almost all of them made the start of everything an obsolete state, with nothing at all, like a neutral state. a clean slate. then from there the world started, one then two then four, exponentially growing and dividing. Isn't this like Pi, you can see the universe from the boy. and he sees the world, trying and testing different possibilities. he doesn't offer solutions, he makes people think of solutions. numerous and without attaching moral judgements.

I remembered telling one of my varsity friends, who was a Christian, that i think all the gods are secretly having parties and afternoon teas up there. Unlike warlords, they live together like good neighbours should, more like consultant agencies more than anything else. People need to believe to hold on to life, to keep moving and living. Sometimes life is too arduous to bear, too cruel to watch, too painful to persevere. We need  anything, something to tide us over that rough patch. She didn't say much, she nodded and gave a smile. I guess she believes in Jesus over any other gods. it's a preference, there's no wrong in there.

Because humans have the liberty to express ourselves through words and languages, we develop complex thinking systems, complex living patterns as well. animals can't break out of their cycles much since they are forced to live under our thumbs. But how much do we differ from them exactly. aren't we essentially relatives?
what we see in their eyes aren't just reflections of our emotions, they do possess souls and feelings as well. and humans reverts to their true self when survival becomes the sole motive, so i don't find the cannibalism story gruesome in any way. it's a choice, it's a way of life.

in other ways, we are still cannibalistic. it's even a more bloody scene when no flesh and blood is involved.

maybe it's the seeking journey to believe that matters. not about the result but what you gathered on the road to your destination. and where's the destination, that's another problem.

sometimes, we fear. I fear too.
hold on, breathe, feel yourself and just believe.
believe. just believe that when you open your eyes, you'll see a way, a sign, a light.


watch the movie and believe.

wreck-it ralph

YIPPIEDOOOOOOOOS :D
I WON TICKETS TO WATCH "WRECK-IT RALPH", THANKS TO NUFFNANG (:

thank you darlings!

Wreck-it Ralph revolves around the same big concept as with Toy Story -aha!- which happens that both films are from the same creators. Something about childhood, going back in time, about imagination. Things adults choose to dabble less time in, or in most cases, become oblivious to.

Toys and games all alike.

It's about a kind of life beyond living things and gains energy only when we choose to imagine them. of course with knowledge we know toys are plastics and fabrics; and video games are electrical signals of different wavelengths behind the screen that separates them and us. But above all, they are our creations and they do actually reflect what's happening in all our lives as well. quite aptly.

the different arcade games are just different circles of lives but we do cross over to other peoples' lives, intentionally or not, to help or not to.

Ralph questioned the meaning of his digital life and seeks to find it. He ended up landing in the same way of life but everything changed. Some things can't be changed but the attitude you receive will turn out in an unexpected way. Like Ralph, there needs to be a bad guy for the game to go on, but no one appreciates him until they realised his value. there can be no good without bad. and the thing about life is, shiny trophies and medals are revered by most but they are not a good summary of life in its entirety.

the downside is, big cities with big lights and pragmatism, do these sort of stuff to judge people and gives them value tags.

 ****

That aside.

some ideas in the show are ingenious. the diet coke mountain and the mentos stalactites, the popcorn fans in Sugar Rush game, the BAD-nymous gathering, Fix-it Felix and Calhourn (Jane Lynch is A-MAZ-ING).

ideas so cute and so devilishly brilliant.

i'm sensing a sequel for this!
anyhoos, why doesn't mario appears!

theme drawing- epilogue

life's same old boring so why don't we do something?

(OMG IT RHYMES. forgive me. i've got some inexplicable OCDs.)

i'll draw something every week and do a short write-up about the drawing, might be the feeling i had when i was drawing it, or the thing(s) that inspired me on that particular one, or any other random stuff i want to rope in and talk about.


WARNING: it might be abstract, ridiculous, illogical, childish, or all or part of the abovementioned.

what else? it might not be exclusively in english, might be in chinese as well, depending on the mood at that juncture.

so keep watching.

choices

every morning, we open our eyes to see this world.
for a moment, we can choose to leave the bed we've warmed up with our body heat or we can ignore the alarm ringing, sunlight spilling in, just shut our eyes and head back to sleep.

we get dressed. we choose.
shirts? skirts? stripes? plain? neutral colours or bright palates?

we choose to go to work.
or not to.
one way or the other, we have to eat to stop the stomach rumbling and keep ourselves running.

at the eatery, we look at the food available and think to ourselves, "what should i have?"
steak? hmm too heavy for lunch.
rice? oh no. carbs might make my stomach bloated.
fish? is it fresh?
then maybe your final choice is a steak-/rice-/fish-lunch.

after returning to office, you continue to do what you do.
6 o'clock approaches but your stack is piling up.
you hear the second hand of the clock clicking away.
you need to decide if you should stay or go.


we don't stop making choices.
every little thing we do, we choose.

despite the limited choices we can hold in hand, for most of us, we hope every little choice can make us and our lives a little bit better. the fact is, we are unable to make a huge change in our lives. and for most of the reason, it's because we are all ordinary beings with nothing much to our names (and not much to our parents', or grandparents' names as well).

we try, try to live better, feel better.
try to grab every opportunity that seems to offer what we might pursue in life.
but it requires luck, above everything, to succeed.

sometimes, i feel that people i know are amazing people with amazing abilities.
but they are squeezed and compressed to a level which might not be the best for them.
for some, it's a choice made by themselves which trap themselves within the circumstance.
for the others, it's downright a luckless life.

i'm sad because i try hard too. very hard.
but more often than not, i don't get what i wanted to.

i think i need a big break in life.
i need to find my own life.

Soon.

review: Pink FreshKon® Dezigner

One fine day, when i was just dabbling around on the internet, i entered my name into Freshkon's page, hoping to win free contact lenses to try out. Lo and behold, i received an email from them telling me to go collect the new range of contact lenses they've launched.

YIPPIESSSSS. (:

So here are some pictures of the lenses and me with the lenses.

ABOUT FreshKon® Dezigner (from their website):

The new Dezigner range from FreshKon cosmetic contact lenses offers you exciting opportunities to redesign your eyes. Create your signature look with FreshKon Dezigner lenses and get that fabulous, unique and sassy look.
Solitaire, our launch series, is conceptualized to frame the iris in a multi-faceted diamond cut, designed to shine!
It's unique, it's groovy, it's stunning, it's personal! FreshKon Dezigner - My Design, My Signature!

Optimal Comfort
• 55% water content for optimal comfort
• Hydrophilic surface for comfortable wear
• Easy to fit, no curling lens problem 

Excellent vision
• Large optical zone for clear vision
• Wide power range from -0.00D to -10.00D
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Available in pink, orange, aqua & green.

**

Surprisingly, these lenses feel thin and are quite comfy to wear for hours. they also have pretty diamond patterns in them, making your eyes look intricate and interesting at the same time.

As seen in the pictures, the coloured patterns are encircled in a black ring, which helps define and bring out the colours on the lenses, also making sure you don't look like a freak. Some coloured lenses do that. Not an intended effect, but it makes the wearer look like they've just walked out of a horror film. unlike other circle lenses that is 15mm to 16mm, enlarging the irises creating a dolly look, this one doesn't do that. i guess one of the reasons it doesn't show up that obviously on me is because my irises have quite a big surface area. But this is an advantage too, because you can do more versatile styling and not be kept within the cute style.

Generally, it's good if you want a subtle look, make some changes to your appearance but not making it too conspicuous or flamboyant. I find the colours to be a bit muted than i've expected. I chose pink solitaire, but i realise they change shades and appear as different colours under different lightings. Hazel, Grey. It's under stronger, cool light that the pink in the lenses surfaces.

Nonetheless, it's a good pair of lenses that will allow you to play around with. you can transform yourself into different personalities with a good wardrobe and some simple make up. sexy, playful, funky, mysterious, graceful etc etc, the list just goes on. 

Another picture that focuses on the eye, to look closer at the lenses.

and since there's time, i shall attempt to create numerous looks with this pair of lenses (maybe 30 looks with freshkon, since it's monthlies!)

Watch this space and count the days~!

beauty matsuri day out!

Just on the Friday that just left us, I strode over to shisedo's office for a beauty workshop.
tips about taking care of your hair and face were shared with much generosity, by the trainers that evening.

on a side note, i was so sorry to be late, was rushing over from another place. oh my god, still feel so sorry as i'm typing this entry. i'm not one who has habitual latecoming habit. MEHHHH ):
alright, enough whining. anyways, the people over there, both participants and the organisers were such friendly and lovely people. they didn't hate me despite the fact that i'm late.

(i swear not to be late for these kind of stuff again.)

So there were 3 brands at the workshop on friday: Senka, Ma Chérie and Majolica Majorca.

There were tons of products, old and new lines, all stacked up at each table from the respective brands, for us to try out. They were so sweet, they laid out cotton pads, cottons buds, mirrors, hairclips and some brushes for us to utilise at the session. The trainers also demonstrated some methods to do style up ourselves.

Then there were sushi and green tea provided at the workshop as well, to fill up the cavities in us.

Ma Chérie left the deepest impression on me. part of it is because it is a new brand launched locally, and also in Watson's store. and the other part is because of the very cute and engaging presenter. He is so personable and has such a vivid personality, demonstrated the use of the products on a couple of the participants with such conscientiousness. Thumbs up!

And not forgetting to mention, their products smell so nice and they made my hair so soft just after application. kinda unbelievable. you'll know what i mean if you know me, unruly hair. i think you'll shout out in horror.

and these were the stuff packed in the goodie bag, products from Ma Chérie and Senka. Gonna try the hair products soon! and see if they're worth me switching brands!

after the sharing sessions, we were about to do some shopping, all products were going at special prices. the venue felt instantly like a girls-only-TGIF-late-night flea market. you get my drift.

and i bagged MJ's famous mascara and the cute little gloss home. weeeee, all MJ's products were on sale at $5 each, so i felt that i HAD TO do something about this.

it was a happy night. amongst other unhappy things in life.

**

THANK YOU to Watson's and SHISEDO once again~ ^^

old school game characters

the good old times was when children played around playgrounds with sand and swings. when the sun downs, little figures run home for dinner on the tables. then they shared some family tv bonding time when mediacorp was still TCS. omg am i divulging my age?!

anyways, life was simple and social back then. no ipads, iphones, tablets or any gadgety stuff.
Then, children will gather together to play gameboy or playstation after their parents get them the console after eons of pestering. they will invite friends over to play and have a ball of time.

i especially remember super mario, who doesn't rightttttt. i know, the pipes, the music, magical mushrooms, lucky star, darn FUN. on a side note, my message tone on the phone is the tune that rings when mario dies. nevermind my sidetracking~





anyway, super mario is a legendary game all on its own. i can't think of another game which is as mentionable as this. okay maybe pacman, but still, mario wins hands down, however you see it. i know i know, pacman is cute too but...mario is so exciting! i still remember the almost colourless mario running in the square screen of my gameboy. everything was greyscale but it was a whole lot of fun.


there's something about pressing the buttons on the grey toy. so addicting.





and please don't forget Luigi, Mario's twin brother. Sometimes i feel sad when people can't name the green cap person's name. why oh why, he's good too. and another thing i've been wondering, what are the 2 brothers' occupations? dressed in overalls, are they plumbers or carpenters? with the white gloves, they really look fit for either, no?


Then when it was playstation, i was obsessed with Bomberman. i would run home after school to play with my brother, attempting to bomb the other character into a charred mass.




WOOHOO.

and we would snatch for the egg when it was revealed under the bricks because we had to. had to ride on the fluffy big creature with floppy ears. OMG so cute.




Apparently the ignorant me only knew this cute thing's name as i type this sentence. louie is the name he/she goes by. i recalled i referred to louie as mewmew when i was young..-er.

and i still think mewmew is a more suitable name.



so actually sharing all these just brings me to my main point here. there's a movie which features game characters as its main cast, by disney! and it looks interesting, i'd wanted to catch it when i saw the trailer that day i watched "rise of the guardians".

i mean, can you imagine, these characters that we created for entertaining us, taking on a life and mind of their own? and the bad guy is forced to be the bad guy, when he is actually, not so bad at all. it's totally cool if you think about it, the game characters clocking out after the arcade closes, having breaks, maintenance, interacting with one another. it's another world inside. they are essentially like us but forced to take on roles we make them to.

hmm. maybe it's what our world is like too.
omg let me watch this movie and i'll tell more after!

:DD

and just watch the trailer below if you haven't already!

Catch Disney’s WRECK-IT RALPH in Singapore cinemas this 20 December 2012 and like theOfficial Walt Disney Studios Singapore Facebook Page, follow @disneystudiosSG and subscribe to the Official Disney Studios Singapore YouTube Channel!

Lost.

Lights are shining
I am sinking
Into the ceiling
Which opens up to the wailing
of the parsley.

Rainy days and Mondays

Nope, not carpenters' song. but yeah, I truly adore them (:

That aside, it's been an awesome Monday.

Went for casting, got free new lenses to try out, continued to read a brilliant book with my hot vanilla tea, smelt the pleasant rain (or rather, felt), got a xmas present for exchange, chatted with a beloved ex co-worker...ohhhh God, I'm yapping like a granny.

And I got kids staring at me today, like random kids at different locations. Okay maybe not stare, just looking.

NONSTOP.

Alright I shall forgive them. Not offensive anyway.

:D

on a side note, my butt and my legs hurt. From double injury. One, badminton. two, I fall smack on a flight of stairs.

And on another side note, my sore throat returns!!!!!!!!!! It's not even been a week since I've recovered.

Boo.

I shall end this with a paragraph I like in my brilliant book, just to lift some spirits.

of knots & complications

you know why curses and swear words were invented for,

when you find that no other possible phrases or words in your brain dictionary can aptly describe your feelings at the moment.

it's been a while since i've meeting up more friends. 

and you see them, very much the same on the outside.

but slowly they experience little changes in life inside of their bloodstreams and hearts.

had a nice talk with a newfound friend, who is like a lovely younger sister.

J was talking about random stuff, best friends who became not-so-best-friends, boy stuff, work stuff and how screwed up some people are. 

i can't even imagine how it's like to work in the shop anymore, since i left weeks ago.
it's fortunate that she's going back for only a day a week.

it's difficult to find someone who just wants to be a friend. 

with no other intention in mind. 

i guess sometimes what you want in a friend isn't exactly what you get when you get to know someone better.

even if it's an amazing friend you've come to known, 

there's no guarantee that it's going to be like that forever ever and ever. like, till the sea runs dry.

our insides get tied up like that you know. when we go round and round about a certain idea. it sucks knowing you can't snip it but you can't figure out the way to untangle the knot.

oh wells. sometimes it stays like that and life goes on.
just keep yourself together and breathe, and you'll survive and perhaps bump into the solution someday.

optimistic i know.
but it's the better way to live, yeah? 

rise of the guardians

this is easily one of the best animations these few years.

not just something to laugh your 1-odd hour away like a giggling toy while you munch silly on your nachos and popcorns. i mean, it's easy for animation movies to make people laugh. it's what they're meant to do anyway. at least for most of the animations.

all the guardians watch over children, along with their hopes, dreams and joy. they lose their magic and strength when children stop believing in them. obviously, all the guardians have undergone some sort of revamping programme, they become militarized and they appear much cooler. how often do you see a tattooed santa, an easter bunny equipped with boomerangs or a tooth fairy who is not airy fairy, like a winged princess?

i really think this generation of kids, this world and the emotional state of humans needs this kind of movie. I guess when we believe in something which we used to have faith in, when we were young and naive, we lit up something in us which glows and warms us up. it's like when you look like children, their eyes, all sparkly; when you talk to them, so full of sunshine.

Things change when people grow, they want other stuff. they choose to put their trust in (most of the time) material stuff and cast everything about imagination away. But how can you live, like really live like a person, if you cease to imagine and enjoy the happiness it brings?

Wouldn't everything be tasteless and monotonous like chewing on white chalk?
But people still fear, and choose not to do anything to change it except for blabbering on and on about how difficult life is. isn't it ironic? You choose to be limp and pathetic; you choose to stay on in this state; and still, you want to stay on in this rut?

WHY OH WHY.

when you forget the real meaning of being happy, then at the same time, you must have wasted all yours years just living like a single-celled organism.

and just let me exclaim, the easter bunny is so darn cute and cuddly when he loses his power.
CUTE.

and and jude law doesn't sound like Pitch, or Pitch doesn't sound like him, any way you like to phrase it.

anyhoos. great movie.
catch it if you can ((:

lapses of golden age: midnight in paris

Vincent Van Gogh "The Starry Night"

major delayed reaction.
i know.

the recurring concept of a golden age is irrefutably, one of the main concepts of this film. and can i say, this script is brilliant. An obvious differentiation from other hollywood movies. no offence here, but there's no denying that hollywood directors or writers have a certain modus operandi, which is inevitable because they have the box offices to take care of. dilemma big time. it's hard to get the best of both worlds.

no soap opera going on in this film, it's like a journey, a stroll taken down the streets of Paris, at midnight. This is also the bulk of the film, by the way. How it started and transpires...and ended. 

Aspiring writer goes to Paris with fiancée  fell in love with the beautiful city, couple took a few city tours with a couple of friends (okay i'm repeating myself), pompous male friend attempts to impress females (and succeeds), writer feels tiny and depressed, writer takes occasional walk at midnight in the city and got picked up by an antique motorcar, then writer realises he is surrounded by amazing artists and writers from a century ago, he haves fun and thinks this is the golden age he wants, he wants to show his fiancée this amazing encounter, attempt fails and so does the relationship between them (due to a woman he met in his golden age), but writer stayed on in Paris, dejected by what exactly is the golden age, and then eventually he seems to find the blossoming of another relationship.

people are innately nostalgic, don't you think? We look back so often, recalling how happy memories were, and neglect what's happening right now in front of us. but isn't every moment now going to become a thing of the past, just this moment as i am typing the next alphabet out?

i guess there's comfort is the past, just the thought of what already happened, the experiences that we've already gone through, helps us select what we want to remember. There's knowledge of the past so we choose to retain the ones we prefer. and so they're memorable and we keep going back to relish on them.

So Pender wants to go back to Adriana's era; Adriana wants to go back to Renaissance period, and this chain just goes on and on.

I've also thought about how would it be like if i were to be born 10 or 20 years ago, i think i would fit well though. but i'll still be a freak back then, like doing avant-grade stuff, things along that line.

But that's the way things go, there's only ways to keep going but none to reverse.

golden age seems to be a literary phrase in this light. probably the closest we can get, is to find the golden age we want in another living person. someone who shares your passion and knows what you are thinking of without even having to speak, sounds like love to me~!

like how Pender found Gabrielle at the end. adore the rain scene, makes everything blurry but pretty.
love doesn't accommodate sanity and clear-headedness, isn't it?

frankenweenie

And once again, i will offer a round of applause to the morbid but undoubtedly talented Tim Burton.

i meant, he gave new life to black and white film, with an animation film, instead of the traditional femme fatale movies. how can you (yes you!) not give credit to him.

it was pure hard work producing this film. there was a ton of puppets made to get every expression and move accurate, and every one of them have movable joints so the animators could put them in different poses. imagine the rise in eye pressure and stiff joints.

it's a simple plot overall, nothing complicated. but nonetheless, the music, cinematography, editing, effects were good. like really good.


i think it's a pretty story, with its heart-wrenching bits in it.
pets and friends and relatives and family, they have a limited amount of time on this earth and we face the agony of losing them. it's something we can't choose to avoid. "Frankenweenie" brings hope to us, when Sparky was revived. but oh boy, we do know we can't actually connect the circuit back in our loved ones if they leave us. And in the same way, science also becomes a topic of interest in this movie. it does the same thing as this film, it brought light to humans. suddenly we discover we could do so much, so much to alter the nature. But there's always a downside, if it can do so much to help us, it can harm us with only the very same standards.

i guess humans are almost always blinded by greed that they forget the very sole purpose something was present for. people lose themselves and gradually, the world around them. and if they are ignorant about something, people refuse to admit their absence of knowledge, it's all shutting off and rejecting others thereafter. this is the adults favourite past time, sad to say.

although i'm legally an adult, i'm secretly a kid. okay, maybe not a secret. but the thing is, not to see people or know people based on their age, past, looks or gender. why can't we have a free and open mind, and it's true that adults don't know what they're talking about most of the time.

everything boils down to your heart. just do what you think is good, as long as it doesn't sacrifice or endanger  another life. and as i was watching this film, i thought of my darling hamster. his fur, his eyes, his nose. when the movie ended with the happy reunion, i could feel him running inside of me again.

oh my god, i feel like crying all over again.

神游。

如果不曾經歷心碎，要如何述説關於生命的雞毛蒜皮的事情。那些每天不斷演出的情節，在世界的各個角落，在千萬人種身上複製並雷同的劇情，讓我們嘗到一樣苦的淚、跳著一樣歡愉的舞步。

三個小時裏聽到的是很璀璨的生命片斷。

林宥嘉抛下了不少斤兩，卻也增加了不少功力。當然還累積了對於生命的感受。

其實無論扮演什麽角色，生命都會給我們設下局限，必須取捨、屈服、選擇。於是無奈和遺憾造就一個個我們。形態形狀内容不盡相同，但是大致上都是由一樣的成分組成。就像化學課上學到的化合物。

今天的林宥嘉似乎不一樣了。
一些感情可以借著技巧轉遞，但另一些唯有靠“心”才得以傳入別人的耳裏，心裏。林宥嘉的心很真也很直接，讓人很感動。可以通過音樂來紀念緬懷演繹釋放情緒，不管那是自己或屬於別人的，都是一種力量，勉勵許多人的力量。

演唱會進行到一半，我就在想“如果沒有音樂，我會怎麽樣？”。默默揩掉淚水，看了身邊的觀衆。他們有些忙著揮舞手中的熒光棒（揮舞到別人的空間裏，沒錯，別人包括我），有些興奮地和友人高調的交頭接耳，深怕坐在同區的人不知道他們的談話内容，有些擺動著身體，但動作其實和節奏在玩躲貓貓。

我想，極少人認真在聼吧。反正這個社會的人最擅長的就是“混著過生命”。突然又覺得很傷感，怎麽那麽好的歌聲（還有音樂及舞臺投影設計）沒有被認同。林宥嘉在開場不久說“畢竟是花錢來，那就好好享受音樂”，讓我又覺得這裡的人真的愛花無謂的錢。

每次看完演出或電影，Y 和我總會嘆氣，然後埋怨這個社會的人怎樣沒品怎樣惡劣。諸如此類的對話每次都會發生。這次當然也不例外。

神游。很好的名稱。

是林宥嘉的歌聲給人的感覺。像縷縷淡紫色的煙，在一盞燭光的房裏幻化出千變萬化的世界。幻夢般真實。演唱會也是一場神游，至少對我和 Y 而言。

我想現實比神游讓我覺得更不安，不踏實。
這幾個月，經常覺得無助但卻無可奈何。
關於這個，就以後再説。

我努力微笑堅強
寂寞築成一道圍牆
也敵不過夜裡
最溫柔的月光

multiple beginnings.

This is already the....hmmm....
okay nevermind.

So you can see, it's been a whooping nth time I've started a new blog.
There's almost always something going on in my mind, okay i know, whose brain doesn't.
 But my point is, thoughts come, my hands itch.
and when i start a blog where i can remedy the itch, i can't find a way to keep writing, or at least find the right way to write.

oh that last sentence rhymes!

so here goes another try.
at least i've somewhere to mark down where my brain's been and where it hasn't roamed to.

awesome.
so till the next!