being alone

i've been doing some cleaning up in my brain lately.

You know, spending some time alone, doing things and visiting places i wanted to go.
i felt like myself again, i am happy whenever this thought came through, inside of me.

it was difficult trying to accommodate everyone else. they are friends who i care about but i'm feeling the strain on myself lately. being alone is convenient and comfortable. i stop and linger in places i'm intrigued by and fly past like a sports car would, for places which don't appeal to me.

i hear myself breathing and listen to what comes to my mind. i see this world with only my eyes. play with children and smile at the beautiful things happening around me.

i enjoy my own company but i don't hate the company of others. most often, people get caught up in trivial matters like "what does he wants?" "oh would it be to her liking" and people waste away their life thinking these questions and not voicing out their own.

sometimes, i don't really get it. isn't it faster if everyone says what they want or don't want, instead of running around the bush, trying to understand what everyone else is thinking?

just say what you want, what you think and mean them.

what's the hard part about this?

spare me the bullshit and just say whatever.

if not, i'll thank you a million times if you can leave me and myself alone.


if someone's not happy with this big party, isn't better for the person to take off and lay on his/her old couch and down some booze. you get what i mean.

and being alone from time to time makes you realise who you really are isn't it? free from thoughts of your friends and family, and you'll learn your own personality. like leaving your shell and observing your own existence of being.

anyway, watched The Great Gatsby in the cinemas today. more about that after i get my hands on the original print.